A client just called and wondered if I offer real tantra. He thought maybe I do because I am a mature woman. I assured him that I do.
Tantra encompasses so much because it literally means expansion of energy. So in combining massage, breathing, sensual touch, pleasure, shifting brainwaves to a floating mind and energy movement, I have a whole being non-focus. I am not in a state of focusing. I am in a state of pleasure myself... a state of flow using what appear to be very focused techniques.
As a woman it is my nature to be non-penetrative. To be in a state of hormones flooding my body means also that neurotransmitters flood my brain. As you move into delta brain waves during the massage I follow you there. That is the brain trance state. I love it. It is a state of freedom for me. I enter the same state when I work on my artwork. There is an ability to see & experience the whole at the same time as being in the very present now with each massage stroke. It is a mastery of pleasure, for both me and the person receiving.
The client then told me of a problem. He wants to do the breathing and something, he does not know what, because his mind is driving him crazy, going over and over again things he could have done differently in order to win the love he wanted. He feels he failed, and cannot get his mind to stop. He needs help. Then he goes to masturbate on these thoughts and ends up feeling guilty.
I suggested he has two problems. One is his mind and the constant thinking of old situations where he messed up. He did not explain exactly what the thing was. That doesn't matter. His mind and attachment to the past is looping in his brain.
The second problem is feeling guilty after masturbating. Yet this is his body!
I suggested a few things to help him.
Problem one. The mind. Get a piece of paper and write down the shit that he feels he failed at. Write down all the details, whatever comes up... keep writing, even if he starts writing about other stuff. Write to apologize to the woman he hurt, or the anger he felt to the guy who stole her heart, or the sadness about his family, or parents, or how irritated he was when his friends would not show compassion. Or even how hot she was, or how he felt guilty masturbating while thinking of her fucking another guy. Whatever comes up - write it down! There is something healing and magical when you write it out, with a pen, on a paper. The kinesthetic process allows your mind to release the emotions attached to the memories. You need to neutralize the jarring energy that is connected to the memory. Writing helps. As you continue using writing as a healing modality, and you speak to spirit, or god, or just your own higher self, the higher mind will start to open to messages from spirit. These simple messages are your secret powers. They will give you love, compassion, wisdom and guidance. Keep writing until some blessing shows itself on paper. It can be as simple as, "dude you are human, and God loves you".
Problem two. Feeling guilty after masturbation. This is also a looping energy. He is looping from his brain to his cock, and not involving his heart, his emotion, and his true self expression. Probably not his voice either. My advice to the guy, whose name I did not even get, was to tell him: that is your body. When you masturbate do it as a loving act to yourself. You deserve pleasure. Your body wants pleasure. But first, do an energy clearing practice. If you masturbate a lot, like most guys, in reality this habit can be turned into a practice. What are you practicing for? A better life? A better sexual experience with your partner? An escape and relief from the frickin madness of the world? Is the habit giving you life or sucking life from you? If you are going to masturbate take the time to love your own body. Masturbate as a loving act toward yourself.
So when you go to masturbate, take a few minutes and swing your arms around, and shake your body, taking full breaths and letting them out with a full sound HUH or HAW! Make some sound, let it out. Then breathe fully and completely. Make sure you are in a private space where the music is pleasant, with soft lighting, be comfortable. Instead of masturbating everyday for relief, try every second day and make it more fulfilling. Practice stopping, holding back, breathing. Take a break. Shake your body again. Engage your pelvis. Don't invade a woman's psychic space by masturbating about her. Maybe think of the most divine sexy goddess, but not a real person. Be respectful, and love yourself, bringing in some emotional energy and some heart energy. Masturbate as an act of loving kindness to yourself.
Use your masturbation time as self time, but also as a way to get to know your body. Look up ejaculation control, read Mantak Chia's book, Taoist Secrets of Love - Cultivating Male Sexual Energy.
Love yourself.
And if you feel porn is causing you problems check out the work of Alexandra Katehakis and Paul Becker. Pick up the book: Recovery From Sexual Addiction: A Man's Workbook by Paul Becker, and also Erotic Intelligence by Alexandra Katehakis.
Don't suffer alone. Seek help from your highest self through writing, and seek help from those who have made this understanding their life's work.
Or give me a call. Let me help you learn to breathe into your body and connect your heart with your sexuality. Just to experience what real loving touch is. My hands do that.
xox Shakra
