Tantric Massage is a ritual of receiving sensual kundalini (sexual) energy. The kundalini energy is stored in the root chakra (1st Chakra) at the base or tip of the spine. Involving sensuality and the 2nd chakra, the sexual center just above the pubic bone & below the navel, and combining these 2 chakras to build energy is what makes tantric massage sexual.
In this ritual, you are given time to explore your body without goals. Tantric massage adds energy healing and tantric coaching to the ecstasy of receiving a nurturing and awakening sensual massage. It creates an environment in which you can release stress and feel more alive in your body while staying fully present to your sexual energy.
A Tantric massage is often the first step in learning to be a sexual being without going into fantasy or trancing out. It teaches you how to truly feel your body as it is being touched and aroused sexually, to be in the present moment, aroused and alive.
Start your tantric massage by creating a safe and luxurious space to perform the massage. You can have soft music playing and candles lit to create an opulent space. Prepare a drink to have ready during the massage.
The receiver’s only job is to stay present to the touch that is being offered, and to breathe. Make this a deep circular breath, in through the nose and out through the mouth. This breath helps keep you in the present moment and also helps move the sexual kundalini energy through your whole body.
The giver’s only job is to connect and touch in a way that feels good to the giver, not to the person who is receiving the tantric massage. This is one of the most important parts of giving anything. You want to touch your partner as if you are feeling a luxurious fur, and drinking in the sensations of how it feels to rub your hands along this fur. We do this for two reasons. First, if we touch from a place that feels good to us it will feel great to our partner. Second, when we wonder if our touch is feeling good then we are forced into our heads and out of our bodies. Tantra is the art of being sensually in our bodies not in our heads.
Begin the massage with your lover lying on his or her belly. Although there are many techniques on how to massage, the most important thing is to touch more slowly than you are in the habit of doing. Bring your focus to the touch itself, and use the same circular breath that your partner is doing. Whenever you catch yourself holding your breath, gently pause the massage and hold your hands still on your partner’s body. Take a deep loud breath, this will remind both you and your partner to breath. Explore his or her whole body as if you have never touched a body before. Linger wherever your hands are called to, move wherever you want to. This is a loving full body massage so don’t forget about those places that don’t often get touched like the inner thighs, groin, and the buttocks.
The back massage will come to a natural conclusion if you let go of any goals or time frames. When this happens ask your partner to gently roll over. Begin the next stage of the massage with your hand resting in stillness on your partners heart. Spend a few moments breathing together simply feeling your heart connection. As you feel called, begin to explore the front of your partner’s body.
If a woman is receiving, then going slowly is the key. Exposing her breasts and genitals can be a very scary thing, even if you have been intimate for a very long time. Taking your time and making sure that your partner feels safe is very important for her to be able to open to the tantric massage. Begin by massaging her breasts. Use a slow and gentle touch that feels good to you. Don’t worry about arousing her, that is not your job. You can try simply cupping her breasts with your hands and feeling them as she breathes. Imagine that love is poring out of her breasts and into your hands. The breasts are the seat of a woman’s sexuality and need to be loved and honored before any other part of her body will open up to you. The breast massage will come to a natural conclusion and you can begin to explore the rest of her body, paying special attention to her belly from just below her rib cage to just above her pubic bone. Massage everything from her head to her toes. You can work around her yoni (vagina) massaging her inner thighs but do not actually touch her yoni until her body is completely open to you. Your hands will usually know when you are called to work on her yoni, but it is still important to check with her to make sure that she is ready to open to you. When you feel she is ready ask her verbally, "May I touch your yoni?". This is a very sacred place and must be treated as such.
If a man is receiving then they may be very eager to flip over and have a release from the lingam. Many people confuse a tantric massage with an erotic massage and release. In a tantric massage there are no goals, which means we have no goals for a release or to withold a release. Without goals we are able to experience new sensations that Spirit leads us to. In many cases these are more amazing than anything we have explored before. If we force a goal, such as an ejaculation, we will have the exact same release that we always have. Men’s sexuality starts in their lingam (penis). So to begin you might place your hand over his penis and just feel it. There are no expectations that he will get erect or be flaccid. Whatever state he is in is perfect. From there begin to explore the rest of his body. Using your hands to move his sexual charge from his penis out to his body. You can move back to his lingam as your hands are called to but don’t do it because that’s what you think he wants, do it because exploring his lingam feels good to you.
Whether a man or woman is receiving the massage it will come to a natural conclusion. The sexual energy may rise and fall during the massage. Allowing these peaks and valleys to happen without trying to control them is beautiful and very tantric. When the massage comes to a conclusion offer a Namaste "The divine light in me salutes the divine light in you" by placing your hands in prayer on your heart. Staying and cuddling after the massage is a perfect way to close the ritual. Just breathe in the joy and bliss that you have created.
Additional techniques for retention practice include a pelvic floor muscle exercise and 2 different styles of breathing. Breath practice is called Pranayama in both Yoga and Tantra. In Tantra the purpose of breathing the circular breath as described above is to feel sensations through your whole body, and to share that experience with your partner. There is also the pulsing or pumping breath, sometimes called the upward draw, different than the circular breath. There is also fast belly breathing. Both these techniques are used to gain more control over arousal and or ejaculation and orgasm. These 2 techniques I explain in a session, along with the pelvic floor exercise.
Namaste,
Lovingly,
Shakra
